Meals are about more than food. They’re also about relationships. Jesus certainly thought so. He often shared meals with his followers. Some of Jesus’ most compelling teaching happened around a table. And in many homes, significant teaching still happens at the family table. But the days when parents and children prepared a meal together, set the table, and then lingered to talk have all but vanished. Families eat in shifts as family members come and go, drawn to different activities.

The problem is that unless family members sit down together, mealtimes can’t encourage communication, the sharing of values, or deepen relationships. By hosting Friends Family Meals, you’ll give families a weekly chance to actually connect over a meal together. You’ll make the meals convenient, and help families talk together as you provide fun, meaningful discussion prompts.

How to Plan Family Meals
Ten To-Do’s
FAQs
Staffing for Family Meals
Menus for Family Meals

How to Plan Family Meals

1. Set the vision.
The term “Family Meal” means different things to different people, so communicate clearly that it isn’t a potluck. It’s not a brown-bag lunch. Nor is it a five-star catered meal.
A Family Meal is a nutritious, buffet-style meal prepared by your volunteer staff. Families that want to participate simply come and enjoy—there’s no need to prepare food, and no need to clean up dishes or the kitchen. The goal is to encourage family communication, which means you’ll make the meal as convenient and family-friendly as possible.

2. Find out who already “owns” the kitchen.
If you’re meeting in a church, it’s likely that a women’s group is already responsible for the church kitchen. Involve these people in your planning from the very beginning.
Be sure you understand the existing kitchen policies and procedures, and appreciate the reasoning behind them. To the extent possible, follow these procedures to the letter—or be prepared to explain why you didn’t. Enlist the support and advice of the kitchen coordinator. Find out what storage space can be made available to Friends, both on shelves and in freezers. Be sure you understand how to operate all appliances. Come to an agreement concerning what utensils, towels, tablecloths, staple items, chairs, and tables you can and cannot use. Invite the kitchen coordinator to be involved with the Family Meal the first few times so you can get the benefit of his or her expertise—and so the coordinator can see how the Family Meal helps families!

3. Recruit staff.
Preparing food for lots of people in a borrowed kitchen is a challenge. You can’t do it alone! Recruit enough staff to avoid burning out volunteers. This is an excellent place to involve occasional helpers—such as parents—but you’ll need an overall coordinator to handle money, purchases, and staffing: the Family Meal Coordinator. And the Coordinator will need help!

4. Set policies about what to charge for meals—and when.
Family Meals must be affordable, yet pay for themselves. The exact amount you charge will depend on your projected costs, but most programs charge about three dollars per person, with a family maximum of ten dollars. It’s difficult to eat out for less, so Family Meals are perceived as a bargain. Collect money as people arrive, and have a cash box with change available. Be prepared to also accept IOUs from children who have forgotten to bring their money, or families caught short of funds. Don’t let finances keep a family from participating.

Set a policy about guests and staff eating without charge. Recommended: Let leaders and visitors eat for free. But communicate an expectation that after the third visit, a visitor is part of the Friends family—and expected to pay his or her share of the meal cost. Or perhaps your church will see the meal as a ministry worth supporting through a special fund or group. Do whatever works best in your situation!

5. Simplify your Family Meal—and here’s how!
Here are the four secrets for simplifying Family Meals:

• Don’t prepare food from scratch.
  Martha Stewart may not agree, but it’s true: People won’t care whether you prepared lasagna from scratch or heated up an already-prepared pan. Nor do they care if the chicken was lovingly basted in the church oven or picked up in a bucket at KFC. You have a limited amount of time to spend on Family Meals. Cut as many hours off food preparation as possible.
• Use disposable table settings and silverware.
  You’ll dramatically reduce the amount of time needed for cleaning up, and when purchased in bulk, disposable cups, plates, bowls, napkins, tablecloths, and silverware are very affordable. Purchase sturdy plates since people will carry their food from the buffet line to the tables.
• Buy ahead and in bulk.
  If storage space is available, use it. Bulk purchases can reduce the cost of materials substantially. Inventory and monitor the pantry weekly.
  Visit the manager of the Sam’s Club or other warehouse store in your area. Describe the quantity of business you’ll do as you purchase food and tableware. Ask if any discount might apply, including a tax-exempt status if you qualify.
• Standardize your menu.
  Select four to six standard menus and rotate them, allowing for special meals related to Operation Kid-to-Kid (see your Director Quarterly Update for information). Limit the number of meals and you’ll limit the number of condiments required and variety of supplies to purchase.
  Favorite “kid meals” vary from town to town, but for reliable feedback, call the cafeteria coordinators of local schools. They’ll know.
  See Menus for Your Family Meal for five suggested menus. Add variety to the meals by changing the desserts offered, and add fun by always making the dessert a surprise.

6. Organize a trial run
You’ll increase volunteer confidence if you do a real-life test of your first meal before your first Friends meeting. Pick a menu, and prepare food for a volunteer training session or a gathering of interested families.

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Ten To-Dos for Family Meals

1. Create a pleasant atmosphere. Cover tables with tablecloths, or at least paper coverings. Use Table Talkers (available from Group Publishing) as conversation-starting centerpieces. Play music softly in the background. Greet everyone with a smile. Treat everyone as a guest.

2. Use name badges. Children can wear their Friends name badges, but have sticker name badges available for visitors and adults. You’ll be able to better greet others by name if you use name badges.

3. Be ready to start when you say you’ll be ready. Besides being a common courtesy, it will help families plan their time.

4. Keep families together. At most church functions, families are separated the moment they enter the door. The kids go one direction, the grown-ups another. At Family Meals families stay together. And that means until everyone is excused from a table! No kids shoveling down food and then dashing off to play, or adults talking among themselves as kids eat. At a Family Meal, everyone at the table is important!

5. Leave an empty seat at each table. Do what you can to leave places for people who come without families. An empty chair or two will encourage singles to come, or couples who don’t have children. Integrate these important people into the rest of the families.

6. Be ready to immediately reimburse people who buy supplies. Make sure there’s sufficient petty cash available to trade receipts for money.

7. Allow forty-five minutes for the Family Meal, but serve food only during the first thirty minutes. This allows families who come late to still have time to finish eating before the rest of your program begins. Don’t serve dessert until the last fifteen minutes.

8. Always thank the cooks! Ask the team to come out of the kitchen for a bow. You’ll model thankfulness, which will encourage kids to do the same!

9. Use the Table Talkers. These new-every-week discussion guides help even close families get to know each other better—and focus on the Bible Point of the day.

10. Encourage good manners. Specific suggestions are outlined weekly on Table Talkers. If children (or adults!) grow loud or rowdy at the meal, remind them that others are talking at neighboring tables.

And a Bonus To-Do…
Pray. Pray for your volunteers, the families you’ll feed, and the lives that will be touched through breaking bread. Ask God to use your Family Meals to make memories in children that will last a lifetime.

Tip From the Trenches
Here’s an idea to try: In one church, families pick up the fast food of their choice on their way to Friends, then sit together and enjoy their meal as a Family Meal.

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How many volunteers do I need?
That depends on how many people will dine each week.
We recommend the Family Meal Coordinator recruits at least two Weekly Team Leaders and teams, so volunteers will work alternate weeks. A team should include one Weekly Team Leader, two Weekly Kitchen Volunteers, and two Clean-Up Commandos. Between them the team will arrange the room, prepare and serve the food, and clean up. Each person can fill more than one role, but it’s best if volunteers have clearly defined tasks—and not too many tasks. If possible, have the same teams do the same menus. If one team is always responsible for “Lasagna Night” you’ll soon have a team of experts who have quantities and timing down to an art.

What meals should I serve?
This is your call, though we’ll recommend several. Select meals kids will enjoy—but realize that no meal will please everyone. Always have a fresh, healthy salad bar for those who don’t care for the main entree, and plan for quarterly theme meals related to Operation Kid-to-Kid.

How do I keep from preparing too much food—or too little?
You can’t prepare an appropriate amount of food unless you know how many people will eat. But since kids are encouraged to invite friends, you won’t know how many mouths you have to feed. So how do you keep from cooking too many pizzas?

At first, you can’t. Count on having leftovers after your first few Family Meals. Until you know average participation, there’s no way to avoid it. If leftovers can be easily frozen, keep them to serve again. If not, know where to deliver food to help a homeless shelter or neighborhood soup kitchen. Note: It’s better to prepare more than you think you’ll need rather than less. How well kids participate and pay attention will depend in part on whether they’ve had enough to eat. Control the size of portions by having volunteers serve food in the buffet line. Serve reasonable portions and encourage people to come back for seconds if they wish. Some will, some won’t, and you’ll cut down dramatically on the amount of food that ends up in a trash can. And keep excellent records of how much food you prepared and how many people it served. This information will help you sharpen up the ordering and food prep process.

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Staffing for Family Meals

Family Meal Coordinator
This individual is responsible for making sure an appropriate meal is ready each week. To accomplish this goal, many of the tasks associated with shopping, preparing, and serving the meal will have to be delegated. To be wildly successful as a Family Meal Coordinator, a person will be

• able to recruit, train, and motivate a team of kitchen volunteers,
• comfortable around food, meal planning, and food preparation,
• organized and proactive,
• flexible,
• an excellent time manager,
• patient even during times of stress,
• a leader who will listen to feedback,
• committed to ongoing improvement and change, and
• passionate about serving God through the ministry of Family Meals.

Weekly Team Leader
This individual is responsible for leading a small group of volunteers who will prepare and serve a meal. This team will also set up the room for the meal, and clean up the facility after the meal has been served. To be wildly successful as a Family Meal Weekly Team Leader, a person will be

• able to recruit, train, and motivate a team of kitchen volunteers,
• organized and proactive,
• flexible,
• patient with children and adults,
• servant-hearted,
• directable,
• a leader,
• committed to ongoing improvement and change, and
• passionate about serving God through the ministry of Family Meals.

Weekly Kitchen Volunteers
These individuals work with their Weekly Team Leaders to serve hot, tasty meals in a timely, healthy, and friendly way. To be wildly successful as a Weekly Kitchen Volunteer, a person will be

• willing to serve in any way necessary,
• someone who likes cooking and the kitchen,
• patient with children and adults,
• committed to ongoing improvement and change, and
• passionate about serving God through the ministry of Family Meals.

Clean-Up Commandos
These individuals take care of returning the meal area to pristine cleanliness that will delight your church host. To be wildly successful as a Clean-Up Commando, a person will be

• a servant,
• patient with children and adults,
• thorough and careful, and
• able to mop up spills, wipe up messes, and carry garbage bags to a trash bin to the glory of God!

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Menus for Your Family Meals

Each week have a salad bar that features several kinds of lettuce, plus a variety of salad dressings and fixings such as sliced peppers, radishes, celery, and more. A quality salad bar will appease those who don’t care for the entree, and provide vegetarians a reasonable alternative. Also have a drinks table with a variety of drinks: iced tea, ice water, and a sweet drink such as lemonade or fruit punch.

Menu One: Lasagna

• lasagna (trays purchased from Sam’s Club or another warehouse store; the number of servings are noted on the trays)
• lettuce salad (bags purchased from a warehouse store)
• veggies (carrots and celery purchased pre-cut from warehouse store)
• dessert (varied)

Menu Two: Chicken

• chicken (Order the day before from a grocery-store deli or chicken restaurant. Include legs, thighs, wings, and breasts.)
• vegetables (canned, from warehouse store)
• potato salad (pre-made from warehouse store or deli)
• rolls (pre-made)
• dessert (varied)

Menu Three: Hot Dogs

• hot dogs
• buns
• chili
• cheese (purchase shredded)
• veggies (onions, tomatoes, pickle relish)
• chips (regular and flavored)
• condiments (ketchup and mustard)

Menu Four: Pizza

• pizzas (plain cheese and pepperoni)
• garlic sticks (cut in half to serve)
• lettuce salad (bags purchased from a warehouse store)
• veggies (carrots and celery purchased pre-cut from warehouse store)

Menu Five: Chef Salad (Lots of chopping, but worth the effort!)

• lettuce (large bags from warehouse store)
• meat (ham and turkey sandwich meats, chopped)
• veggies (slice and dice: tomatoes, green onions, green peppers, mushrooms)
• hard-boiled eggs
• cheese (purchase shredded)
• garlic sticks (cut in half to serve)
• bacon bits (purchased)
• croutons

Other meals might include:

• sub sandwiches
• barbecue
• soup (purchased, or using leftover chicken)
• gumbo
• baked potatoes and toppings
• pancakes and sausage (Breakfast at Night)
• tacos (Build your own!)

Tip From the Trenches
Come up with a kid-pleasing, fun meal that adults like too? Drop us an e-mail and we’ll post it on our Web site for others to share! E-mail mkeefer@grouppublishing.com

Dessert Options:

• pudding cups
• ice-cream sandwiches
• cookies
• brownies
• cupcakes
• tub of ice cream and banana-split toppings
• candy

And ask your kids what they’d like to see!